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Hi Mr blog,

I'm sorry I have been neglecting you for a really long time.
It is not my intention of doing so,
but work has been forcing me to separate my life from you Mr. Blog,
Sometimes I just want to dissappear someplace where I don't need to think about anything.

But then again that will be no use of this smart brain of mind given by God. That will be such a waste. What a pity..

How I've been you asked?
Well I have been great. I love being here in the states. I am not homesick. Not that I have ever been homesick. I am not trying to be arrogant here. But it has been my wish to stay in a place other than Malaysia since my parents started fighting. I know its rude to say that. But hey at least I'm telling the truth and I'm not being hypocrite.

Life has its own ups and downs here. I can be super joyfully jubilant and the next second I think everyone hates me therefore I isolate myself.

As you can see on my facebook, I have made a lot of friends here. I love them. They are amazing. It is always nice to know a different side of people brought up in a different environment. Some can be a brat at times but some are the total opposite.

As some of you that have known me, I am not that picky. I take what I get. But still I don't stop there. I yearn for more. 'No' is a foreign language for me that I will never understand. I started of well. A girl in a foreign country, trying to live independantly, improve her confidence as well as her social skills and not surprisingly her english vocab.

It is now, spring. SPRING? am I that sure that it is spring. Well it is April. But it just snowed yesterday. Global warming perhaps? Maybe. No. For sure it is!.
I started skipping classes on winter quarter. Not that I want to but its because of my laziness. My motivation went downhill since the spring break.

I like someone. Or rather I have a crush on someone. You know how I am when I have a crush Mr. Bloggie. I would drop everything else to just hang out with him. But I found out. It will never happen. From having a crush, I was crushed. Ironic. I know. Thats life. What am I to do. InsyAllah there is someone better for me. I will try not to think about it. Still, he is hanging out with me. He likes giving hopes to me and throw it downhill the next day. I couldn't say life is unfair because Allah knows what He is doing. He is the Almighty. He has great plans. Is this a karma? Is this because of the 2 american guys that liked me but i rejected them? Is it really? Truthfully saying, I am not interested in white boys, because I myself are not really religious to begin with, so how am I going to guide them. Therefore I know its not going to happen.

I have many circle of friends here. From Adnan to Benjamin, from Nadia to Hannah. Everytime I will try to manage my time so I could hang out with them at least once everyday. But then I don't have time for myself. I stop looking after myself now. I need my motivation back. Please.
Give me the courage now.
I need it. I came here to learn.

May it be..

Greetings form New York, USA

Dried out from the greens~!

Venue: Kentang's house
Mood: Content with my filled tummy :)

I felt obliged to do my budget after a while neglecting it for a while. So thus, with the formulas, debit,credit, tax bla bla bla, I came to a conclusion that I need to work. Pronto~

I need to pay the phone bills, then no extra expenses (meaning no online shopping) but I can bear with that since I already have everything set for winter and then, I believe that I can't buy a camera. hmm I guess I have to borrow someone's camera or use my phone camera and filled up the memory since I can't transfer them to my laptop.

*loooong Sigh*

But oh well, maybe I could use that extra-shiny-golden colored-with-my-name-on-it Master Card *grins* haha

But mommy, its emergency and christmas too. :D :D :D

So yeah, back to more money countin and and scratchin head. haha

OMG I miss D and Noah so bad!!! okay okay Adnan and Bardia too.

Till then,

Au Revoir~

Life is not as bad as it looks~

My aunt arrived at my sister's house yesterday and they are about to go out in a minute or so. Had a webcam-ing session. Apparently she was excited. So was my sister, we were being ourselves - bitch and whore. Figure out which character is mine, I'll consider giving you a penny. I so want to go to UK right now so I can be close with my sister and that we can travel anytime we want too and crash my brother's place in Ireland.

I remember writing the whole 6 page essay to my Sponsor about how 'uber-badly' I wanted to further study in UK and that studying A-level is what I'm destined to do.

Eventually I regret writing the essay and Thank God, As He made the right choice in putting me into the ADFP course where I was 'luckily' re-united with my ex-s and putting me through the hardship of writing in force (advanced composition - no offence but I just don't like to write when I am asked but rather at my own convenience)

The process of filling in the College in States applications was dreadful. Writing more personal statements, resume, and loosing 50USD due to some negligance of some people and making last minute decision was never fun but rather funny in a way.

After being rejected by my short-term dream school UC-Davis and chosing my third choice of college instead of SUNY Buffalo to attend was definitely one of my lucky choices.

I must say, after all my lucky moments, I need to stop depending on it and start bursting into the real world that needs hard work in order to survive. It is not really that I believe myself as a lucky person, is just that I am content with what I have and I am happy that God gave me strength to pull through all the 'exam's and problems that He posted just to make me stronger emotionally and physically.

Thus, I am now grateful with everything I temporarily have right now before it is time for me to give it back to Him which I will not know when.

Till then,

~Smile~ :) :D :P

When reunion was held..everything turn downside up~!

Besides adnan and bardia,
John - asian
Jack - the driver a.k.a the black wannabe
Manny - asian
Victor - Puerto Rican
D (sorry can't spell your name, imma keep calling you D man) - Dominican Republic
Kenny - asian
Noah - super baby jew
and last but not least incoming crew
Alex/sasha - russian.

Pretty diverse huh. so anyway, all of the 8 people came with Jack's suv to RIT to visit Adnan and Bardia. What a friendship. Well basically all of them are from NYC and they go to different colleges but went to the same high school at RKA. Kenny,Noah and Alex are from CUNY Hunter and Victor and I don't know who else are from RPI and then some of them from Syracuse and the rest, no idea. lol

Anyway the came at about like 5 when adnan and I was about to play tennis. heh. good timing guys. so yeah. it was like whow 8 guys one time. all of them 10 guys and i'm the only girl. well what do you expect. I was like blushing 24/7. Fadhe would know how I act in front of guys. I would just keep quiet. blame my school for not having guys. lol all girls school. So yeah then we went and play pool and went eating at commons and all they want is .. yep you guessed it.

Partayyy. haih. D was like beat boxing all the time and jumping. some kind of adrenaline rush huh. So they decided to go to adnan's floor rave for a while. I just sat in Adnan's room btw. Na'ah I'm not partying. Hell naah.

So then we all went to the SAU, because bardia invited them to the rave which you have to pay 6 bucks if I'm not mistaken. As usual, as soon as they will go in, I'll leave. I just don't D. sigh you don't get it you DR. lol that's short for Dominican Republic. lol, not being a racist but I can't pronounce your name. D'nelvis. well yeah I can spell it. hmm. So then we were sitting in front of B&J then Alex called up Jessica at U of R which he thinks is the same as RIT. haha funny. He doesn't know a thing. so then he promised his friends to meet up before they go back. So we were like discussing for almost an hour for who wants to stay to either go to the rave or go to UR and I know like if I go there, then they might end up at a party which I don't want. and at SAU Adnan said that he's not going. While walking them to the car, and Alex screamed "aite, who's coming get your effing butt in the car, we're moving" and Adnan was like. okay I'm sitting in front. I was giving him wtf look and D took him away and close his eyes to make sure he's not seduced to stay. Guess what?.
We all went, well except for John, Bardia's roomate. I was sitting cosily in front as the co-driver and the rest? Don't ask. 11 in SUV. yeah the Asians were in the trunk, I know D was sitting on top of someone and the rest all was squished. Messed up I tell ya.

So yeah, we went to U of R. stayed there for like 2 hours. We got tour from Jessica and someone else (lol sorry forgot your name) and basically stayed in the library and talk. Get conversation goin. I was talking to victor and John a lot. they're really friendly. I wanted to hang out with D a lot coz he seems super cool. But he was sleeping at the corner. lol. Then when we wanted to go back, everyone was going towards the co-driver's seat. They were literally pushing each other but when I came they went 'yo yo back up, back up, erin's here' lol felt like a princess. haha
Thanks guys, you guys were awesome until the part when SUPER BABY JEW get me pissed off. siap kau, ade ke hisshhh.

So yeah. then went back, we chatted some more until daylight saving. Then I went back to my room and sleep. Today, they went back. Say our goodbyes and group pictures too. D came to me and said "Don't be a stranger, you're in the Bronx group now" I just smiled.

Till then,
Love you guys, till we meet each other again.

Peace out~ <--dedicated to D,V,J,Alex who speaks black language

Why I love RIT.

A free sweatshirt and a chance to be in a photograph shooting session.

Awesomness!!!

Well yesterday was an awful day until the whoever from the corner store e-mailed me saying that I won a sweatshirt. A pepsi sweatshirt! cool eh? Well I wanted the bike but someone else got it. hmmph rezeki lah katakan aite.

Oh I got to taste a liquid nitrogen ice-cream~! They said that the liquid nitrogen suppose to make the ice-cream taste better. I once saw someone doing it at INTEC but didn't have the chance to taste it though. But the liquid nitrogen did scares me because I was eating it! Jamie didn't even want to try because it sounds so toxic. lol

And plus today was snowing and Maria went ballistic when she saw me without a winter coat. I told her how I hate wearing it because it made me look puffy and weird like and idiot (cool that rhymes) and she lectured me about it the whole way to SAU. lol!

And during the lecture (well its more of a debate with her because I keep denying how I can stand the cold weather now with just a sweatshirt or a pea coat) a random girl just like walk up to me and ask if I wanted to be in her photo shoot. Well who doesn't want to be taken a picture and make you feel you're pretty for a day.

I DO!!.

Anyway chem test tomorrow. Need to study. *sigh*

Till then,
Au Revoir~~

Money makin~!

Love making money,

Love spending it.

Got into a research program. I'm the guinea pig though. (omg aku jadi babi. yeahhh lol)
So basically the research is about politic stuff. Thus I have to like choose either true or false of a statement and after that discuss with 4 random people via chatbox (anonymously though, my name was Democrat 4-cool!) about the statement. There were 9 statement and after the study is done i got......

20 dollars!!!

Thanks Ann! awesome research project you're doing now.

so with 20 bucks meaning

6 Terapins! OMG awesomeness!

I could basically smell the coffee being brewed and the touch of hazelnut from the expresso. Hmmm~~ calming.


shoot. Research paper. gtg.

Till then,
Au Revoir~~

Certain vs. Uncertainty

And they say,

People are born to be complex,
We have brains,
We also have feelings that will interfere with our brain,
Therefore those two can often enough get people confused and mixed up,
thus end up being complicated.

Is it just people or maybe its only just the Eve population

As the convo goes:

Moi: Whaa??? lasdfoahwe faenf *mumbles2*

Bardia: What did you say?

Adnan: You said differently before and now you are saying otherwise.

Bardia: You're complicated. I don't understand you.

Adnan: Don't worry. You're good dude, women are just too complex to understand.

Moi: ughh you guys generalize too much *angry face*

Theres that.

Then another story is that why people care so much.

This part really ticks me off badly because for the fact that I don't care about people's life unless they want to share it with me thats another story. But yeah. MYOB aite! I'm not mad, I'm just dissapointed that why, why and why must you waste your super precious time to know about someone's else life and also talk about it to someone else. Sedeyh aku tgk manusia sekarang ni. haishhh. Isn't it sinful? I used to gossip but now I don't give a damn. Tips on how? Ignore! Just forget about it. Got nothing to do with your life, won't change theirs therefore kapeesshh! It can get bad if something (as in like slipping of the news until the person itselfs knows about it) and trust me you don't want that to happen and ruin a friendship or maybe a potential friendship.

Self-centered and taking advantage is neither the best nor the ideal combination of characteristic of a human being. Trust me you'll be hated.

Assuming.

You see any kind of IQ or typical questions that needs assumption, I can never do well. Like say.. Okay you have assume the natural is zero then only you can count maaa..<-- I remembered Benjamin explain that question to me in tuiton and I gave him a puzzled look and his reply? "Choiii erin!!! No logic, just follow what I say and you'll succeed in life. Lol I love him. He's uber funny. I miss my old best friends!! OMG alithea,grace,benjamin,nithia,and khong I swear if you guys are reading this. I feel like hugging you guys till you guys die.

Shoots! Digress. lol Okay so to sum it up, is that I can't do any assumptions. I just don't assume. I find facts, then I'll believe. So don't assume! but ASK! Just because I hang out with guys doesn't mean I'm gedik. Just because I am always with Bard* (lol) doesnt mean I like him.

Bardia = Boyfriend (lol super not gonna happen. impossible.nil chances. Zilch!)

Adnan = Boyfriend (hmm interesting thought. possible. never know. lol gatal!)

Naim = Boyfriend (omg die sgt comel. dah lah hot. cool. pandai lukis. eee perfectomondo kot! dah la smayang! ok lagi la pade si adnan tu hishhh.. so a possible yes?? YES YES YES please..)

But then Gabe is a super gentlemen. awww *smiles* He walked me back and that is super awesome. He played basketball when I was playing dodgeball and he nodded at me. Awwww. lol

Shoot I'm so worried for my writing class and Biology. seriously I want an A. no kidding. Been working my Ass of those two!

Oh shit. hidung berdarah lagi.

Till then,
Au Revoir~~